How To Be Authentic and Why It Matters

"Be authentic," they say. But what the heck does that even mean? Online brand expert, Mary Fain Brandt, joins me this week for an energetic conversation about letting your personality differentiate you in a sea of sameness. Plus, tips on how to save ten grand in your first year of business.

Guest Information:

Ready to increase your visibility and fill your pipeline with sizzling hot qualified leads? Or maybe you're looking to book your calendar with speaking engagements or simply want to become known as a leader in your industry.

Either way Mary’s the ultimate connector and she’ll share all her top secrets with you on how she went from unknown to fully booked!

Mary has a ton of experience in the corporate arena working in the financial industry, specifically banking. This has given her a glimpse as to where sales professionals struggle when it comes to social selling and online prospecting. Mary has worked with Financial Professionals, Bank Managers, IT professionals and Coaches to help them stand out in the sea of sameness and fill their calendars with appointments.

Client successes include landing a client one day after working with her to being offered a job 3 days after getting laid off. Her clients typically see a 35-65% increase in profile views and engagements which lead to conversations that convert. She has a passion to help others increase their visibility but, more importantly, learn how to CONNECT, CULTIVATE and CONVERT.

She is the CEO of Mary Fain Brandt Consulting, Founder of The Linkedin Bakery and an International Linkedin Trainer, Speaker & Strategist. She teaches entrepreneurs, business leaders, executives and sales teams how to fill their pipeline by using Linkedin for just one hour a day.

She describes her brand as Fun and Informative. She’s a get-to-the-point, get-it-done type of gal with a passion for color coding, colored pens and homemade Cold Brew with Vanilla Almond Milk.

Join Mary's private Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheLinkedInBakery
Episode Highlights:

10:46 I call it the becoming process. We trip, we fall, and we get back up again, and learn something new that helps us become who we need to become for whatever's coming next.

23:36 You must have a personal brand in 2021 to stand out in the sea of sameness and shine online.

1:02:50 You can't automate online relationships. You're you're gonna connect with the right people when you are authentically positioning yourself in your messaging. If you're not a corporate square in the box, then why would your messaging sound like that?

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Mary Fain Brandt (00:00:00):
There's a person behind the profile on LinkedIn or Instagram or Facebook, or even this podcast. Bill and I are her human beings here. Right? We all need to be treated as that in order to do that, you have to be your authentic self. You have to, and you have to share your stories. That's how we connect with others.

Speaker 2 (00:00:22):
Welcome to the side hustle lounge. If you're looking for flexible ways to earn income, grow your mindset and live the lifestyle. You've always dreamed of you're in the right place. So lower the lights. Grab your favorite beverage and join your host. Founder of notary coach.com and AMS on best selling author of sign and thrive. How to make six figures as a mobile notary and loan signing. Agent Bill Soroka

Bill Soroka (00:00:56):
Cheers and welcome to my guest today. Mary Fain Brandt. She's the chief inspiration officer at Mary Fain Brandt Consulting. Mary, thank you so much for being here today.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:01:07):
Thank you Bill, for having me. I'm really excited to be on this SideHustle Lounge podcast. And to be here with you today,

Bill Soroka (00:01:16):
I've been looking forward to our conversation as well. I think our connection, our relationship is such a great demonstration of the power of LinkedIn, and I mean, you are a LinkedIn expert, so I guess it goes without saying that you would use that platform as a connection tool, but you, you did it so well and you let your personality come through and really everything that you do. Everything that I see has a little dash of Mary, actually, it's a heavy dose of Mary in it. and I actually I'm really drawn to that level of authenticity. And that's exactly what we're going to talk about today. Authenticity is one of those buzz words that everybody talks about right now, but I'm not everyone has a, an understanding of what it means to be authentic. So I wondered if you could, let's just start out with that. Tell me what does a being authentic mean to you?

Mary Fain Brandt (00:02:17):
Being authentic means that you're being your true self 24 7. So not just one.. I always like to say it's too hard to be two people. Bill. I can barely be Mary Fain Brandt, right? Just me. I can't slice me up and be one person online and a different person in real life. That's not being authentic. So if people see you online, right, they see your content, they maybe see a video, they listen to your podcast. And then they were to meet you in person. There would be a disconnect if you were not the same person in, you know, on air versus in person. And I think that is what it means to be authentic. Be yourself, you guys. And you've met me online and then in person, right? I bold, I wear bright colors. I talk with my hands. I'm very enthusiastic and passionate about certain subjects.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:03:16):
I'm that way online. And I love that. You said I there's little Mary isms in there in, in my content and how I present myself. Because back in the day, Bill, when I first started my first business, true career coaching, I tried to put myself in a box. I tried to be this professional that I thought I needed to be online. And you know, I come from corporate. So you're in a box. You don't talk about your personal life. You're one person at work. You're a different person at home. Well, and I did webinars and stuff. And every time I tried to put myself in this box of where I thought I needed to be how I thought my audience wanted me to be. I didn't come across as my authentic. And you know what happened? I couldn't connect to my audience. They didn't connect with me.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:04:04):
They were like, oh, she sounds like everyone else. Like I actually did a webinar and we had very low signups, not for the original webinar, but for the program, because I didn't put my face on camera. I was afraid how I was going to look. I was afraid that, oh my gosh, I have notes. I have to read a word for word for this script I've worked on. And it didn't come through as being authentic. My voice didn't come through. I was scripted. I was like a robot. And don't forget to do this when you're on LinkedIn at 8:00 AM. You know? So that does doesn't work. When I throw the scripts out the door. And when I just go live on the camera, my authentic self comes through mistakes and all, and that's okay because that makes me more human, which makes me more relatable.

Bill Soroka (00:04:53):
And I think people are craving that. In fact, as you were speaking, it became clear is like everything that he let's say people in the workforce in America or the business force or whatever it is, everything that so many people despise that those canned responses, sales, everything about those experiences or those interactions are usually tied to in authenticity. It's people not showing up to the human experience, being salesy almost slimy, cuz you're forgetting that there's a human being on the other side. You're not even showing up as your human self. So I think that's really the power of authenticity that, that you're talking about here. So when, when you finally only did that, what happened for you when you boom

Mary Fain Brandt (00:05:45):
I was more relatable. People were engaging with my posts. They were signing up to be my client because I was sharing my real stories. I wasn't trying to come off as, Hey, life is perfect. My business is wonderful. I've never had any problems. That's. Okay. And it, at, at, at my point in my career and my life, if I haven't gone through some, then I haven't lived. Right. Yeah. And it's going through that shit, those troubles, those experiences that give us the knowledge and the solutions to help our clients. I was a job seeker at 50 years old. I lost the job that I thought I was going to have forever. And that's a different story. So I was like, oh my God, who's gonna hire me. What am I gonna do? And I started my own business helping other women. I became a career coach helping other midlife women, you know, 40 and above how they pivot, how they rebrand themselves. And so I really feel being yourself and sharing your struggles and sharing your stories that helps you relate to your, your audience. And as you said now, more than ever after 2020 people are, they're like, screw that corporate stuff, throw it out the window. I wanna know who Bill is, day in and day out. What do you do? Do you have dogs? Do you have cats? I mean, I know cuz we've met in person and we chatted and you're amazing and fun and intelligent, and just you're real. You are who you are online as you are offline.

Bill Soroka (00:07:25):
I love that you brought up too. And thank you for that. I enjoyed our time together too. But you brought up sharing the challenges and the struggles that of people go through. And I think you bring up a really great point because there's this, I don't know where it comes from because we all know it's too, right? Like there's no easy path. In fact, I would not wanna take advice from somebody who has gone through life with not a single hiccup and a challenge enough thing's gone wrong and they've never had to pick up the pieces or they've never had to figure anything out. Cause they

Mary Fain Brandt (00:08:04):
Have the real life solutions. They wouldn't have any real life solutions and they're lying. So why would you wanna work with someone that's telling you live built that, you know, we talk about business and we talk about, you've seen these social media poses emails, these ads, how to go from zero to $10,000 in your first month yes. I call on every single person that's posting that because you don't go from starting business to $10,000 in your first month, you have been working on it, crafting your product, crafting your service, testing things. It just that maybe, maybe somebody has done it in their first year, maybe, but we both know we've had multiple businesses. You more than me. But you're, we're both at different points now and we can share what we did wrong or the lessons that we learned. Sometimes we have to learn lessons before we reach that great success. But those coaches that go, I'll take you from, you know, if you're making $1,000 a month, you'll be making 5,000 in 30 days. Okay. You don't even know what I'm selling. What if, what I'm selling is wrong? Like how can you put that post out there? Right.

Bill Soroka (00:09:14):
I think it, it taps into our human need to cut corners and to win the lottery. Right.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:09:21):
And it's, but everyone's financial retirement plan. Exactly. I'm win the lottery. I'm gonna spend $20 a week. You guys put that $20 a away in a savings count. You'll have more money when you go to retire.

Bill Soroka (00:09:35):
Yeah, exactly. The, it it's up to us as the consumer to take responsibility for that. We, you know, I, I see a lot of blaming these marketers who are just, or I, I got a lot of pushback on the title of my book, cuz I, I call called it sign and thrive. How to make six figures as a mobile notary loan signing agent, because it sounded like it was all about the money and it's not about the money, but it's about getting somebody to pick up the book and say, look, there's something more to this. It's not a get rich quick book it's but it's up to, there's so many other marketers that take advantage of that. And they just wanna sell you this, this get rich quick,

Mary Fain Brandt (00:10:23):
A 90 day, get rich program, sign up for 90 days and you'll be making 10 grand a month. Well,

Bill Soroka (00:10:30):
Yeah, exactly. And it's, it's possible for some, but you made that really good point. It there's a lot of work that's going on behind the, and that taps into this idea that we can just open the door and suddenly be making money. It takes away from the power of the work and the tinkering that has to go on. Like you gotta, you're fumbling around a little bit and you've gotta figure this out. I call it the becoming process. Like everything that we do and we, we trip and we fall and we get back up again and learn something new that helps us become who we need to become for whatever's coming next. Right.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:11:02):
I'm a much better career coach today than I was when I started in 2014. I also charged I don't. I started at $750. Like that's hilarious, right? It was like five sessions. Here's what you got. And now it's a much bigger package with a ton of more value, right? We've expanded everything in that coaching program. It's not five calls. It's four months and you get just so much more value. And, and so I had to go through all of that to develop what I knew my clients would need. And it's through working with the clients and staying on top of industry trends, right. That I could grow and create a better package. It didn't happen overnight.

Bill Soroka (00:11:49):
You didn't have it all figured out when you started. Right. oh my God,

Mary Fain Brandt (00:11:53):
Bill, you called me out. I so didn't have it figured out on, you know, month 1, 2, 3, or year two or three it's been evolving. And I finally feel like I've got this rhythm down, we're creating more the packages have more value. I'm working longer with the clients. That's important something. I try to make it shorter packages. I thought that's what people wanted. And why they want that, that doesn't work with lifestyle kids. Yeah. Family working full time, building a side hustle or, you know, building, you know, launching their business and they realize they need LinkedIn and they need to grow their network and to connect with the right people. It takes time.

Bill Soroka (00:12:35):
How did you, or what advice do you have for those who are terrified because they don't know everything about everything. So they, they almost don't want to move forward on their dream or their passion project. How did you do it?

Mary Fain Brandt (00:12:50):
So that's a great question. Mine was a little by necessity. So the backstory is I never wanted to be an entrepreneur. My dad was, he had a real estate appraising company and it was feast or famine. We had money, right. And life was good or we had no money. And so growing up with that, I was like, oh, I don't wanna be an entrepreneur. You know, nine to five. I know what I'm making. You know, I, I I'm going to work during the week and then I can shut off. Well, my mom got sick with early onset Alzheimer's and made the decision. I wanted to be there for her and with her. So I had two great years with her. So I started business, not knowing Jack. I mean, we talked about this before. One day, I'm gonna write a book, how to save 10,000, your first year of business.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:13:36):
Cause I have SOS disease, which is shiny object syndrome buying every program. Right? Like you have to, like everything had to be perfect is what I thought. What I learned is it's better to do it in baby steps. Like, okay, figure out who your client is, how do you, so of them. So there's, I would say do research. If you're afraid to launch, then maybe it's not the right program or service. Like, I'm gonna say that right there. If you're not that confident in it, maybe rethink it. Talk to people. Do your research, do some test. If you're wanna be a speaker. Well, the only way to do that is start speaking and you can start at Toastmasters, right? You can go like Toastmasters and you know, practice your talk and see what kind of reaction you're getting. What type of engagement you'll get. And then you can go to small networking events. That's where my speaking careers started was at those free little networking events, all San Diego. And then eventually, obviously it's grown into my own show, podcasts, summits, but we all have to start somewhere and you have to test the water. So do it in small bites, right? Do it in bite size tips or bite size. You know what

Bill Soroka (00:14:53):
Nuggets? I, I love that advice. And I'm gonna go back to something you said too is if you're, if you're not feeling really excited about moving forward, that can be it could be two different voices, right? Like one of the biggest pissoffs in this life for me is that the, the language of the universe or the voice of the universe that is like laying out the road for you is the same voice of your fear and insecurity. Like it's the same tone sometimes. So you don't know what voice is going on. Sometimes, sometimes it's like, I am, I'm terrified to move of afraid because what if I succeed? Or what if I fail? But the world needs this. Right? But it's the same voice that says, mm, maybe this isn't the right product yet. Maybe you haven't thought this through. Maybe nobody, you know, maybe you haven't nailed it. You know, you haven't provided the value yet. That's such a similar sound. Really? Yeah.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:15:49):
It's a, that's a really good point. So one thing I've learned is to not react, right? I take time to think about things when I react. That's when you know, impulse buying programs and apps, bad, Mary bad impulse, like, you know, I wanna do 10 different things. That's great. You can't be successful at 10 different programs at once. So, you know, set up your goals. What, what do I wanna do in 2022? What are my three big, hairy goals BHG, right? What are the three ones then break that down into what are three steps, three actions I can take to move closer. Right? So break that down. So if you're deathly afraid, why are you afraid? You gotta go deeper. You guys. Yeah. Why are you afraid? I don't have the resources. I don't have the time or money. That's a legitimate fear.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:16:42):
So don't quit your day job. Right? Start the side hustle. Why you're working full time. That is probably tip number one. Mine was quit. My job. I'm gonna start. Don't know what I'm doing to go a lot of money through it. It was like spaghetti at a wall. Some of it stuck. Some of it was wasted. So in retrospect I would have, I was, you know, taking care of my mom, but I would've gotten like a part-time job. Right. So I had some income coming in and then I would've gone through that first year of learning and developing my craft and understanding who my target market was. I probably would've done it a slower, you know, I wouldn't have jumped off into the ocean. I would've dipped my toe or my foot into the lake

Bill Soroka (00:17:25):
Uhhuh. I love that. You've brought up a couple times now identifying your ideal customer. How do you do that?

Mary Fain Brandt (00:17:33):
Oh, that is a deep question. So that really depends on your service or product. I'm a woman who was 50 leaving a job job security didn't know what my next steps were. And I went to an outplacement service and I laughed and it was an international outplacement service, you know, for career professionals. I was like, I could do this better. And so the way my brain thinks I created a binder with 15 tabs of everything you need to do for a job search, cuz I'm that color coded, organized freak basically. And I was like, I can do this better. And so I coached two women where I worked. Like I tested it. And so what are you, okay, what are you passionate about? Are you passionate about helping elderly people then maybe you'll come up with a program I'm passionate about helping women find a purposeful and meaningful career.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:18:27):
And sometimes we'll start career coaching and they'll say two sessions in, I have this happen with Jamie, Mary. You're gonna hate me, but you know what? I don't want a job. I wanna launch a business. Sweet let's pivot. Let's do it. What kind of business are we talking? Do you have the skillset? Do you have the experience? And she did. She did. So you know, who's your ideal client? Well, what's your product, their service, right? So that you really have to go into what's the product or what's the service who needs that? Who do you align with? I coach men, but my passion, my true the clients that I work the most with 90% are women and that's who I wanna help. Yeah.

Bill Soroka (00:19:09):
Yeah. You're really clear on, on that. How do you, so if you were, if you were gonna coach somebody on finding their, they just said, look, I'm just, I'm sick of working for the man. I'm sick of being an employee. Or maybe even look I retired and I can't afford to thrive anymore. I've gotta create something. So what would you, how would you coach them into finding that passion?

Mary Fain Brandt (00:19:37):
So the person that's retired, but still needs to make some money. What, what did you do all your life? Can that be a consultant role? A contract role that's that is easy to pivot. Not easy. It's gonna happen overnight. That easy decision. Like I was a CFO for 20 years. We'll be a fractional CFO. That's a big thing now. Right? You were in marketing all your time, be a fractional CMO what's fractional name. So that means they're not hiring you full time. So they need consultant, right? So it's called fractional. So you might have like a six month or a year contract fractional and they get so many hours a week or a month because the small to midsize business, they don't need to hire a CMO or a CFO maybe. Right. For a hundred, 150,000, I don't know, 200,000 a year. But, and with today's world remote work works, right? Yeah. So you don't have to be in the office to be the CFO. You don't have to be in the office to be the CMO. So someone that's retiring that has an expertise in something I would say, look at consulting and training.

Bill Soroka (00:20:53):
Excellent. Excellent. And if somebody worked customer service for 30 years of their life and how would they, how would they spin that into some,

Mary Fain Brandt (00:21:05):
Again, that could be a consult. So in 2021, we are moving away from traditional nine to five jobs. We all saw that happen. It's going to continue to rise that we have consultants, contractors, fractional positions. Right. So I would do some research and see if that's already being done. Does someone have a customer? Maybe you're a train trainer, customer service training, right? Yeah. So, so why not? You know, you know, customer service inside and out, you know, what's working. Did you go through it? This last year? Customer service online is huge. Right? Huge. Right. You don't go into, you rarely go into a store. I don't, I order everything almost. And except my groceries, I still go the grocery store. It's my outing. It's my get outta the house moment. It's your weekly outing. Costco. Here I come.  

Bill Soroka (00:21:54):
 

Mary Fain Brandt (00:21:55):
I love it. You know, you, you can do online trainings. Yeah. Reach out to other people B. So my number one tip is you better rebuilding your network on LinkedIn, cuz they're gonna serve you now and in the future. And there is someone on there that can mentor you that can, all it takes is one person to introduce you to your next client, to your next job, to your next, you know, investor in a company. Maybe you're a cook, right? Maybe you love cooking. Maybe you solved a problem for your family during the pandemic. What was that problem? You solved. Do you think other people had that problem?

Bill Soroka (00:22:33):
Excellent, excellent point. And so I think people discount, they take it for granted. So the, you know, things they might be good at. They just assume everybody can do that, but that's just not the case.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:22:45):
It's not the case. And the other thing I wanna bring up because a lot of times on, I don't know if this happened to you, it's happened to me. There's hundreds of thousands of LinkedIn trainers out there. Who the heck, why would somebody hire me versus the Beth, the Judy, the Isaac, you know, the vivica's I can go on with some of the top rated LinkedIn trainers. I've partnered up with them now it's more of a collaborative, right? So we always think com competition, but I, I want people not to get discouraged if they're like, well, Mary I'm really good at marketing. I'm semi-retired I, you know, I wanna, I wanna keep my, my foot in the door in marketing, but there's, there's thousands of people that do what I do. Yep. There's sure are. There's hundreds of thousands that do what you do, but what is your personal brand? Yeah. And that's another thing, Bill, if you don't have a personal brand as a career professional, you must have a personal brand in 2021 to stand out in the sea of sameness and shine online.

Bill Soroka (00:23:48):
I think. Well, that's excellent advice because the, the differentiator, what makes you different from everybody else is who you are, which ties us right back into authenticity. Right. and how you show up. Yeah. We, and, and I'm a, I'm gonna take us there, but you mentioned something too. And I know even through my own coach, coaching others and not even just in my, where I got my where I'm at right now as a mobile notary and loan signing agent and a notary coach. But before that because I had started so many businesses, I used to guide people along and what they would do is they'd have this great idea and then they'd Google it and research it and somebody else was already doing it. So they would immediately get deflated and think they couldn't move forward. What advice do you have? Somebody who, who thinks they have to be the first, the only trailblazer.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:24:42):
Okay. So I'm gonna tell you that everything's been done and taught. This is 2021. We have taught people how to cook, but there's still chefs. We still go to restaurants, right? Mm-Hmm the book we all have read. Right? You still created another book Bill. Right? You read a book, although there's a gazillion books out there. So it's really not about, oh my gosh, there's already hundreds of people that do what I do. It's how do you do it differently? What do you bring to the table? Because you don't so on LinkedIn, you guys there's what is it? 770 million users. Right? Wow. I tell people, all I want is 0.0, zero, zero, 1% of those people for clients and I'm set for life. I don't need 770 million users. I can't, I don't have the capacity or the brain band. Right. To do all that. So the world is a big place. There's enough business for all of us. Right. And, and so start, you gotta get rid of the negative Nelly and we all have it. Even myself. I I'm sure Bill you've had it. Like, can I do this? There's already, you know, so many notary coaches out there. Who's gonna hire me

Bill Soroka (00:25:55):
Right. All the time. And that inner critic. I it's so funny. I get to say it so much, but my inner critics are a real bitch.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:26:03):
So you need to name her. So you can say Betty, get the F out here,

Bill Soroka (00:26:09):
Name the inner. I, I love it. Or the inner critic, I guess it not all. It's

Mary Fain Brandt (00:26:13):
Not all, if it's a or a critic, I dunno mine. I don't know. Mine's probably a female cuz you know, we're, we're toughest on ourselves. We're hard on females are hard on each other. And I, I, you know, we need to change that. And we are working on changing that in my circles. But my inner critic is a female saying, who the hell do you think you are? Mary? That is Mine. Work more hours. And I tell people, I am not the entrepreneur up at 11 o'clock at night working because that is not why I started my business.

Bill Soroka (00:26:43):
How did you just make that determination? Like did you consciously decide? All right, this is how I want my life to look. So this is what I'm, I'm gonna build my business around how I want my life to look. Is that what you do? Yes.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:26:55):
Set your boundaries, set your goals, do them at the same time, time block, create your schedule. You are not launching a business or you, you are not in business to work seven days a week, 10 hours a day. I don't believe anybody starts a business to do that. Will you have busy seasons? Absolutely. During my master class that we launched the first week of August, July was crazy. and I was working more hours, but my ideal schedule that I am still working on this isn't Mary's perfect. And got it all figured out. I'm working on a four day work week, right? And I wanna work about six hours a day. That's my sweet spot now. I only do client calls Tuesdays and Thursdays. Right? I do live shows. I'm in a mastermind. I do live shows and recordings on. We stays cuz it's typically the day I get, you know, all dolled up hair and makeup and stuff. So I do my show on Wednesday mornings at nine, my other show at five o'clock I do recordings like this. I have set up my schedule Fridays. There are no client calls. There are no meetings. So that if we're traveling, it's not a problem.

Bill Soroka (00:28:04):
Right. That's a that's awesome. Do you ever feel, feel guilty? No.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:28:13):
Nice. Not right. Why, why did I feel guilty? This is my business. I get to do what I want. Yeah. Yeah. And that doesn't mean that last night I worked till like six 30. I was, I was working on some projects, you know? And that doesn't mean you guys. I don't want it. I don't want you to hear this and say, Mary's got it all figured out. I want that. I don't have it all figured out. That is what I'm working towards. But I do not book calls on Fridays cuz my husband and I travel. So you know that there are to Thursday afternoon. I'll be like no calls after two sometimes. Nice. Yeah. We're we're traveling cuz we like to go back to San Diego. So we'll leave Thursday afternoon. We'll do long weekends. And my goal is to do too long weekends a month.

Bill Soroka (00:28:59):
That's awesome. Well, and it sounds like travel and you you've got friends and family over there too. So an important part of your life. I think one of the most powerful lessons I have learned that finding the right mentor, the right coaching, the right training can be extremely beneficial. And I've invested thousands of dollars into this one program. It turns out that the program was like the opposite of what I wanted my life to look like. Right? Like it was just this super engaged high energy constantly in front of cameras and live events. And I was like, whoa, that's not what I want my life to look like. But what, how I found that out was before we even started the workshop the leader of the program took us on a, like a, gave us a guided process for figuring out what you want your life to look like in three years and what you want your ideal day look like. And when I built that, it became very clear that what I had just spent like 10 grand on was not what I all wanted. So, but I, I find that as probably one of the best, the best $10,000 I've ever spent, because what if I had done it and built and invested did all of that. And then resented going to work every day. Yeah.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:30:25):
Created a lifestyle that is not what you really want. So I think that, you know, and I'm ju I started the, when we moved, you know, we moved to Arizona last year and I was working, everyone should know I was working full time as I was building my business. I work off and on after losing my mom in 2016. And when I lost my cushy job in San Diego, I was like, that's it, I'm all in on my business. We're moving to Arizona, honey, you got two months find a job. And it, you know, that was huge for me cuz I lived in San Diego, my entire life. So moved some where I know nobody during COVID my husband starts a new job. I go all in on my business. Like there was a lot of change and I was beating myself up the beginning of the year, that things weren't where I wanted to be.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:31:14):
And my friends and family are like, you just had massive change. Yeah. Going on during COVID cuz moving during COVID was not fun. Was not fun. It was very expensive and, and frustrating lack of trucks, lack of homes to find, you know? Right. so I have learned to give myself some grace, but that doesn't mean you get to be lazy. Right? Mm-hmm so as an entrepreneur you might think, oh I don't really have to get up today. I don't have any client calls. My my saying is you get up every day and get dressed, get up every day, get dressed. Whether you're working six hours at your computer talking to clients or not, but create the schedule that makes you happy so that you don't resent it. So I, I like to, you know, I'm an early bird. I, I like to get started early and I like at two 30 is my, oh, I need to take a break. And my husband works a different shift. So I spend a little time with him in the afternoon and sometimes that'll be it like two 30 is like I'm done for the day. And then sometimes I'll get a second win and I'll go tackle a project.

Bill Soroka (00:32:23):
I love that. Love that you built that in what it in listening to you, it sounds like you've got a pretty compelling why you've got a reason this business needs to work for you. Can you share that with us or would you share that with us?

Mary Fain Brandt (00:32:37):
Well, it start my, why was my mom? Right? I started because I wanted to spend time with her and be her advocate. I did have to put her in a nursing home, but I made sure I was there three times a week. Right. She knew who I was up to the day that she died and I'm, I'm, I'm happy about that. And I want, I believe in my heart it's because I was so present. I was there all the time. So my why was my mom? So I could be there for her. The why has evolved into it? Got, you know, we're here in Arizona. I wanted a mobile business. Right? So that we could move anywhere because having a, a high salary job in San Diego keeps you there, right? You're the money keeps you there. I'm not gonna lie. It, it kept us there.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:33:23):
Until it was no longer part of, you know, my package. So I wanted to create a lifestyle that I create the hours I wanna work and doing work that I love, like more than anything, Bill, I love coaching a in consulting and it's not even just about the LinkedIn or the career stuff like that is what I do. It's the transformation within the people. And it's the confidence that comes through the coaching. Like that's a byproduct. I don't advertise, Hey, your confidence. Level's gonna triple. It's just what happens when you're, you're being coached and you're feeling good and your online presence is popping. You know, I, my new tagline is I take you from boring to badass on LinkedIn. I love that. Yeah. Right. Cause who wants boring? I want you to stand out and pop. And a lot of times women especially are afraid to bring their personality onto LinkedIn cuz it's the quote professional platform and I'm like, let's bring it. You love Harley's rock music. Well, let's talk about that. I, I just signed a client. Who's a fly who loves fly fishing and she's going on a, a, a camping trip. I'm like, I want five photos and I want one of you fishing. And we're gonna say the, I already got the caption planned out. I I'm going thrown for my next, you know, my next career move, looking for my next opportunity, fishing for my next opportunity. Like we're gonna have a whole series of that. So I probably went way off topic there

Bill Soroka (00:34:56):
no, no, that's actually really, really great. And a great demonstration of your passion. Like why you love what you do. Yeah. I thought that was fantastic. And this is part of the, and this is a perfect blend to authenticity. I want to bring, go back there because I'm sure there's still the people hear it all the time. They are getting to see it and witness it with you. And hopefully with me right here and this kind but there's still a little part of them that questions it. So what do you think gets lost? If number one, we don't define what's authentic for ourselves and bring that to the world.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:35:37):
You're not gonna connect with the right people. And at the end of the day, we're, it's all about building relationships, whether it's personally or professionally. So if you're not being your authentic self, you're not connecting and you're not building your authentic network online, your authentic friends, like, you know, think, think about it. You're also, you know, at the end of the day, I always say H to H human to human, there's a person behind the profile on LinkedIn or Instagram or Facebook, or even this podcast Bill and I are her human beings here. Right? We all need to be treated as that. And you need, in order to do that, you have, have to be your authentic self. You have to, and you have to share your stories. That's how we connect with others.

Bill Soroka (00:36:24):
How do you remind yourself of, of this lesson of sharing your authentic self or even just reminding yourself who your authentic self actually is, is, do you use affirmations or any of those tools?

Mary Fain Brandt (00:36:44):
I don't, well, I do talk to myself in the mirror. Is that what you're talking about? You you're courage, courage. You're beautiful. You're smart. You've got this Mary. I do. So I do like once in a while I do that, but I'm a woman of faith. So like I have a lot of conversations with God. I'll be like, okay, God, is this what you want me to do? So when my mom passed, I had zero clients. That's a true story. I was like, God, am I supposed to be a speaker trainer? I'm not sure I'll go get a job. So I, you know, God and I have a lot of one on one conversations and he'll give me answers. Sometimes are not the answers I want, you know, or the solutions I want. I do affirm myself. And I look at other people who are authentic online and I get inspiration from them. Hmm. Nice. You know, I see other people putting it all out there. I'm like, that's right. You go girl, you share that story. Because it's through sharing the stories and, and telling our stories that we can actually help and inspire and encourage others.

Bill Soroka (00:37:42):
Absolutely. Totally agree. I, if it doesn't get too personal, I wonder if you can share, you just mentioned that you, you asked God in 2016 after your mom passed you had no client, you had no evidence that you were on the right path, but you asked God if, if this is what you're supposed to be doing, how did he answer? Or she answer

Mary Fain Brandt (00:38:04):
well, I do think God's a, a guy. So God answered me by giving me a client for like $97. That's not a lot. I know. And then an opportunity to teach for $300 at ITT technical school in Chula Vista, which is now debunk, right? So I have these like bread crumbs and then we rebranded. Then someone reached out and said, oh, you bought this. You bought a marketing session and Stephanie knows that you'd lost your mom. Do you still wanna do it? And I said, yeah, I bought it. Let's do it. And I didn't know what was gonna come of it. And the LinkedIn bakery was born. The LinkedIn bakery honors my mom because she was this amazing baker. And I have that skillset. She did a lot of other things, but I didn't inherit the painting and crochet and sewing not that gene.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:38:53):
And so the LinkedIn bakery serving up bite size chips was my second business, right. When we pivoted. And so that is what gave me hope. And so then I invested and there's times even like moving to Arizona, not knowing anyone here, again, COVID no networking, like very small business community that I'm connected you here. I was like, okay, God, is this what I'm supposed to be doing? Like, you know, I need to build this business, you know, to something even greater to achieve the goals that I have with my husband of buying a house and going to Ireland and all of these big goals. And, and he continues to show me. And this last month, he definitely has shown me through clients through relationships. It's not just about the clients, but amazing relationships with people and other opportunities that marry. This is, this is what I made you for. I, I, I created you to be a speaker and trainer, and I know that training is what I do. Well, I get very passionate about it. So, you know, talk to God, talk to your friends watch other people that inspire you. There's nothing wrong with seeing someone on a podcast or a live show that inspires you. You're like, yeah, I love that. I love that. I can do that.

Bill Soroka (00:40:19):
And I think that's one of those. Sometimes those are one of those kernels that are left for you. It's like, Hey, you need to hear this. You know, you need to, you need to get lit from inside or whatever it is. And I think that's the important factor as well. If you're going to ask the universe, ask God, ask your friends, ask an expert. If you going to do some research, don't forget the listening part, cuz you're going to be getting an answer from somewhere. So you, but you gotta be aware and you gotta be ready for it when it happens, because I truly believe that the universe conspires to make all your dreams come true.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:40:54):
And I'm so glad you brought up the word universe because I'm the person who talks about everything. I don't know if you guys can tell I talk about everything and I put it out there to the universe. And I, I, this probably three months ago, I literally was putting things out to the universe. I'm telling my family, I'm telling my friends and I'm like, okay, this is what I'm asking for. I need this and the universe and God are giving it to me. And I think we have to be specific when we're asking, don't say, I want a new client. Is that a $97 client or a $9,700 client? Like right. How many clients do you wanna sign up this month? And at what price point are they, are they female? Are they male? Is an organization. Is it a one on one? Is it a V I P like, I'm getting really specific on what my goals are for my business and I'm, I'm hitting those goals.

Bill Soroka (00:41:46):
Awesome. And that's a really good point that clarity of your vision makes all the difference. If we get too vague, vague goals, vague results, but the more specific you get, the more specific your results can. And I

Mary Fain Brandt (00:42:05):
Think when you're more specific, your mindset changes. So what I wanna say is my mindset change. I did a a boot camp for speaking gigs. How to, you know, what does that look like? And when I went through that, you know, a lot of it, I knew, but I got three golden nuggets, three golden nuggets. And it changed my mindset of what was my goal. Every time I spoke, you know, if you speak twice a month, that's 24 speaking gigs. If you get one client per speaking gig, that's 24 new clients a year, that could be $36,000.

Bill Soroka (00:42:40):
It's huge. So, and it's, you're kind of describing what changed my life as well, which was reverse engineering. Right? I got, so the, the shit the fan in my life. So many times when you have 26 business failures, right? Like it, the going to happen. And when I finally pulled my head outta, outta my rear end, and I realized I had been avoiding habits and routines thinking, I could just make it without being disciplined at all, not moving forward every day. I, I got clear thanks to the miracle morning and the habits that evolved from there were my daily do's, but I was able to build my daily do's, like my business habits every day, because I got really clear on what I had to do. I knew and I used a dollar figure at the time cuz I was bar broke.

Bill Soroka (00:43:26):
So I had to, I knew what I had to make. And that was an easy measurement for me. So I said, all right, what do I need to do to make this much money? What's that going to look like? I need this many loan signings at the time. How do I get that many loan signings? Well, I need this many clients. How do I get that many clients? I need to make these, these many business calls or cold calls that I, I, I don't, I couldn't do cold calls. So I warmed them up. But I that's how I did it. And that's how I decided what I was gonna do every single day. And when you, that kind of clarity, like waking up at three or four in the morning, five in the morning, I was, I was ready. I knew exactly what I needed to do. It changed my entire fork, my energy, everything. Like I knew I needed to wake up and do this, this, this, this, this, this, this and this. And you knew that

Mary Fain Brandt (00:44:15):
Doing these was my moving you closer to reaching your goals. Exactly you do. I think it's so important that you said reverse engineering. I have a friend who wants to make X amount of money. You know, this friend, no names will be mentioned, but I'm like, okay, how many clients is that per week? How many, how many clients at what price is that? A $80 signing a $50 signing a $200 gig. You gotta get clear cuz just saying, I wanna make 2000 a month my first few months. Okay, great. How are you gonna make that? Right.

Bill Soroka (00:44:48):
Exactly. And I, so that's, well, I'm gonna talk to her. I got a plan from that. We're

Mary Fain Brandt (00:44:56):
We're laughing right now. So you know who you are. Cause she knows that I'm on your podcast today and she's like, oh I can't wait. I was like, I'll let you know when it comes out, but we'll be calling you no name mentions.

Bill Soroka (00:45:08):
right, exactly. So I, I wanna also talk about these stories. You've brought up the, the importance of sharing a story and there is so much power in story and people discount it all the time, but there's also a fine line. And I wondered if you could help delineate that for us too. So what's the line to between vulnerable authenticity and then oversharing.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:45:37):
So let me start with stories sell, facts tell it's really important to understand we're in the, we're all here for a business, right? We're we're creating a business, we have a business, we want more business. Your stories make you more relatable to your audience, to your network, to your clients. But how do you be vulnerable in your authentic self in telling a story? So there's a saying, and I'm probably gonna get it wrong, cuz this is what I do really well. You wanna tell this story like of a bad, you know, something, a struggle that you want, that you went through. You wanna tell this story, not when the cut is bleeding, but when it's healed. So if you're in the middle of a flood, I have a client, she had a flood, lost everything. I'm like, this is a story. She is a project manager for a personal project manager and divorce concierge. Right? And we're so we're talking paperwork that has to be filed and stuff. Right? So I'm like, this is a story to tell I go, I know you can't tell it right now cuz you're in the middle of it. But when you come out of it, you can share the struggle that you went through to educate others of why you need your paperwork in order. Does that

Bill Soroka (00:46:56):
Make sense? Yeah, it totally makes sense. And I think the quote you're looking for, I got this from bene brown. You share your scars, not your wounds.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:47:04):
Thank you. I never can say it. Right. You share your scars, not your wounds. See, I was like, don't share when you're bleeding, when you're gonna bleed

Bill Soroka (00:47:12):
Outing yourself. I know you got guys, can't see it. She's literally splitting her arms. OK. don't do that.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:47:20):
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So share the scar. Not

Bill Soroka (00:47:25):
The wound, not the

Mary Fain Brandt (00:47:26):
Wound. I gotta write that down cause I never get that. Right. I know my brain knows what I wanna say, but that's being my authentic self. I'm gonna mess that up every

Bill Soroka (00:47:33):
Day. I love that. And I think that's so that's so important and it's not about ranting and raving, right? It's about going through some, inspiring finding, finding the lesson in it and then sharing that journey.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:47:48):
You and you don't do it right away, right? Yeah. Right. But, but keep that story somewhere. Get organized. You guys. So another thing use a tool, whatever it is. If it's paper and pen, a laptop, Excel sheet, Google doc, when you're going through it, you're thinking about it. So when I talk to a client Bill, every single time, I'm like, you're gonna have three pieces of content within 30 minutes. It happens. And so we, you have to, you know, when you come up with that content, I don't know if this happens to you, I'll come up with great ideas. I gotta go put them somewhere. Cause if not, oh yeah. I'll them.

Bill Soroka (00:48:20):
I use Evernotes I use now I use the oter app. It records and transcribes my thoughts. And then I always have my moleskin notebook with me. So yeah. I, I gather,

Mary Fain Brandt (00:48:31):
Write I a lot of things in air table when I'm at my computer or my best thoughts come to me, why I'm driving, which is great. Cuz I get a lot of great thoughts when I used to drive a lot. Now I don't drive a lot. So you know, I'm like, I'm not getting all these great ideas, why I'm driving, but I whip out my phone and I use voice recorder.

Bill Soroka (00:48:51):
Yeah. That's a good one too. I get 'em in the shower. Yeah. I kinda, I, the shower and driving, I get my best ideas and these the shower, you know, I have a, a design for a shower pen that literally you can, it will hang in the shower and Bluetooth. So it will track your pen so you can write and it will shoot my Bluetooth into your computer. I have the design for that, but I can't, I can't find an engineer to build it for me yet. It's on my list of million dollar. I love it.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:49:22):
Ideas. I love it. Yeah. Cause a lot of people would wanna do that.

Bill Soroka (00:49:26):
Exactly. techy,

Mary Fain Brandt (00:49:28):
Like who? Doesn't like a new tech gadget.

Bill Soroka (00:49:31):
Yeah. If it works, I love it. If it

Mary Fain Brandt (00:49:33):
Works. Yeah. If it works. Exactly. So you would be yeah. You know? Okay. As we

Bill Soroka (00:49:40):
, as we oh, so getting back to the, to the stories, I know one of the, in my audience, people, they have a story to tell is the hardest part. They think they have to have a flood or they, this traumatic event that would be a lifetime television for, or lifetime movie for television event. It doesn't have to be that green.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:50:06):
It doesn't have to be that level of storytelling. It can be your story can be how as a new notary, right? Like can I talk to notaries? Yeah.

Bill Soroka (00:50:15):
We got lots of notaries that listen. Okay.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:50:16):
That's what I thought. So as a notary, what about this story that you went and helped this elderly woman get something signed because her husband was sick. You don't have to mention a name. You don't have to mention the location. You're telling the story of how you help someone. Someone's gonna read that story and say, dang, I need to get those POAs done. Right. Right. Right. So, and, and it could be a leadership coach. He is he's also a, so a client leadership. He's also the coach of little league for his son. I was like, oh, I won't say his name. Hey, so, and so that is a great story. Let's talk about that. And he was, he made a story about how coaching little league. We can learn so much from coaching, a little league team. We're actually building the leaders of tomorrow. So he tied it back into his

Bill Soroka (00:51:08):
Business. I love that. We, we get opportunities like that every day. Here's the difference. Some people are looking for those and then other people aren't. So if you're listening to this and you're thinking my life's too boring, who would care about any of this? Look for the story. When you start looking for the story, you find it. In fact, I'm a huge proponent of the, the idea that you find what you're looking for. So if you're looking for stories, if you're looking for some dots to connect some way to blend things, it will start revealing itself more and more for you

Mary Fain Brandt (00:51:40):
About changing your mindset. If you're already saying I'm boring, I have no stories. Yep. You're gonna stay right there. But if you open up your mind start changing. Huh? I don't think I have any stories, but I wanna find some, is it at the coffee shop that I go to? Is there a story there that I should share? I love coffee. So tag and tag a great coffee shop. I mean, every time I go to a local coffee shop, I take a picture and I tag it one day, I'm getting a free lifetime supply. It's gonna happen. it

Bill Soroka (00:52:07):
Will happen. You exactly. I love that you bring that up because it doesn't always have to be about business, right? You don't all only have to tag about powers of attorney and living trust and loan signings. It could be about your mechanic, your coffee shop, your favorite restaurant. Like one of the favorite things I do is I love breakfast. So when I would go on these early morning signings, I would find a little breakfast joint. I love lo supporting local. So I'll go in and order. It depends on who's listening. If my doctor's listening, it's just plain eggs with nothing on them, egg whites. Exactly. And for everybody else, it's chicken fried steak with gravy and eggs.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:52:47):
When are we gonna breakfast Bill?

Bill Soroka (00:52:49):
Right, exactly. Well, I've got some great places, but I love taking a picture of the food and tagging them in it, talking about it, sharing that journey. It shares a little part of me what I'm passionate about, but it also might help support local business too. Yeah.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:53:03):
So I I'm big proponent. I, I say the 80, 20 rule, 80% professional business stuff, 20. Who are you? What do you like? Where are you at?

Bill Soroka (00:53:12):
Great.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:53:13):
You know, great. So I think that helps people, cuz people gotta know who you are, Bill. They wanna, you know, in today's world. As I said, we have the smartest consumers in the history of the world. Why Google, Google, and LinkedIn they're best friends. You know, the search engine, they work well. So people can Google you and find out everything they want to. And they want to know who we are as business owners. What are we passionate about? I, I posted the check. I, I donated funds to bene via a local organization and that supports seniors, that post is like blowing up just, and I wanna bring awareness, right. That when I'm hold to masterclass, we're donating the proceeds and I'm helping my online community and my offline community. Right. Yeah. So that's blending

Bill Soroka (00:54:03):
The world.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:54:04):
Yeah. Yeah. That's some important to me that I'm helping the local community where I live and that I'm helping my online community. That's part of who I am.

Bill Soroka (00:54:12):
Yeah. And I think that that's important to come through because we, we do business with who we know like and trust. And I know that's a cliche and I get, it's true. It's, it's so true. Like I, and I'm particularly susceptible to it. I will, I will, if I like a restaurant owner or the staff treats me in a, in a great way, but the food's kind of, eh, I will still go because I love supporting people who I know like, and trust

Mary Fain Brandt (00:54:43):
Because you connect with them because they're take good care of you. They show me who they're, they're laughing at your jokes. , you know, they're, , they're,

Bill Soroka (00:54:54):
They're in, if you laugh at these go they're cat,

Mary Fain Brandt (00:54:56):
You know? Yeah. So, yeah, because there's it's about building that relationship from the coffee barista, barista that knows your name and gets your coffee right. To the restaurant that they have your table Bill, you have a restaurant that has your favorite table. I know this personally

Bill Soroka (00:55:17):
I feel seen ,

Mary Fain Brandt (00:55:20):
You know, and, but what does that break down to that breaks down to relationships, connecting, cultivating the relationships

Bill Soroka (00:55:30):
It really does. And that's a perfect segue. And we've been here for almost an hour now, and I know your time's so valuable, Mary. I know it went by so fast, but when we are talking about that authentic connection, there is, and I wanna speak specifically of, about connecting on LinkedIn, because I, I think even though LinkedIn has 770 million users, I think it's probably one of the most underrated platforms for connection today. So specifically talking about LinkedIn, there's a right way to connect in a wrong way. And I'd like to some time just describing a right way to connect an authentic, genuine human to human connection, and then maybe an example of what not to do.

Mary Fain Brandt (00:56:20):
So you wanna connect with a person there's a person behind the profile, right? So always H to H human to human. So the best way to connect with someone on LinkedIn is to look at their content. What are they posting about? Right. Comment on that content. That's gonna put your name top of mind and tip of tongue. Then a day later or something, or maybe the same day, you can send them a connection request, right? You send them the connection request with a personal note. If you just send a blind connection request, I am not gonna accept you unless we were in a training together. And I said, just send it to me or we're in person. That's the only thing you send a blind connection requests that are sent with a personal note, have a 53% higher acceptance rate. Why would you waste your time on a platform and send blind connection requests and only have a 47% chance of someone accepting it?

Mary Fain Brandt (00:57:17):
That seems kind of silly and a waste of your time that don't overthink the InMail note. That note that goes with it, talk from your heart. A lot of times I'm like, oh, Hey Bill, I saw that you checked out my profile or Hey Bill, I liked your your side hustle podcast, or, you know, your side hustle your, your post. But I think mine to yours was, Hey, my girl, blah, blah, blah said that. You're pretty cool. And I should connect with you when you wrote a LinkedIn book and you're in Arizona, I'm new to Arizona. I'm building my professional network here. Can we connect? It was literally silly, right? It's a little silly. It's not perfect. Talk from your heart, right from your heart connect with that person behind the profile. That's how you should do it.

Bill Soroka (00:58:05):
I was just looking up our initial conversation, cuz I think this is a really good example. I think let's oh my God. Excuse uhoh I'm going, I'm trying to get to the beginning of the messages, but you talk a lot.  

Mary Fain Brandt (00:58:21):
My, my, my thread, the thread, the InMail thread. That's where our conversation lives. Ex

Bill Soroka (00:58:27):
Yeah. It's so true. Do you mind if I read this? No. Okay. I think this is a really good example. So this is from Mary. To me, this was our very first well this was her connection request, I think to me. So my friend just mentioned your name in the conversation. And so I had to look you up. I, I recently moved to Arizona and I'm looking to add strategic connections to my network. How about jumping on a call? Stay fabulous and informed Mary. Yeah. That's a little sprinkling of Mary in there. And of course, you know, I get hit up all the time and I'm like, oh, I don't know. But this one was so had so much personality that I almost immediately said, and

Mary Fain Brandt (00:59:08):
I told you what I wanted. I'm not selling you anything. I'm looking to build my business community, a local business, professional community. I'm not inviting you to anything. I'm not selling you anything. I'm trying to connect with other business owners in Arizona. I was very clear

Bill Soroka (00:59:26):
On that. Exactly, exactly. And then, you know, some people are getting a little more strategic with this. They sound warm and friendly in the first message. And as soon as you accept 'em they're I, they sell something. So give us an example of how not to connect on that

Mary Fain Brandt (00:59:45):
Day. That guy, his name is the used car salesman. That's what I call that message. And there's a lot of them and they're like, oh great. Here I'm I'm hosting an event. I thought you'd be interested or, Hey, I see that you're a coach. How would you like to get, I just had this happen. The message was, how would you like to get 50 leads? Is it 20 leads a week or 50, 50 new clients a month? I said, whoa. I go first off, ask too many clients for me for the work that I do, cuz I, I put a lot into each client. I said, I'm not interested in that. I go and you didn't even take time to, you know, get to know me. So if you connect with someone and your next message is to sell them on a program to get them on a webinar, to get them, to hire you for a book writing for our website or whatever else, I'm like, you just ruined your reputation.

Mary Fain Brandt (01:00:37):
I'm probably gonna delete and block you. Right? I don't have time to go through are all those messages? Now you need to cultivate connect with the right people, cultivate the relationship. You don't go on a date typically and kiss the person on the first date. Unless you're me, my husband, cuz that actually did happen. it was kinda an accident. I turned my head anyways. whoop whoop. But you don't like go on a first, right? And like make out heavily. You get to know the person. And then you know, you, you, you build up to that. You have a phone call, maybe you meet for breakfast. If you're in or lunch or dinner, if you're in the same area, you know the same community, but you need to nurture the relationship. You need to cultivate, get to know that person and never ask for anything or never give them anything. Don't ask for anything. Just get to know them and then give it time. As in all good relationships, get to know them. How can you help them? Who can you introduce them to co continue commenting on their posts? That is the biggest way you can cultivate a relationship.

Bill Soroka (01:01:43):
I love that. That's such good advice too. Cuz once you're connected, then start paying attention. Just like if you, they were a friend, see what's going on. They sh what they share, comment, share their post, if it's appropriate. And when you share like make a little comment, it's not enough just to hit, share and keep recycling stuff. Like add some commentary to it. I love this advice. And I love that. You said if when you, if you're selling in the first message or the second message or the third message inappropriately, you're ruining your reputation and that reputation. That's your personal brand. And it's so huge.

Mary Fain Brandt (01:02:20):
And you're really ruining it. If you do it to me, cuz I'm gonna use your message as an example in my training and yeah, I sometimes or sometimes not block out your name. Cause I just get so frustrated when someone sent me three automated messages, I just said, here's what? So here's what this woman sent me month, one, week, two, week three. I was like, I was done. I that's another,

Bill Soroka (01:02:46):
That's another really great point too. Is these automation you cannot automate authentic relat

Mary Fain Brandt (01:02:54):
You don't automate your relationship with your best friend or your coworker. You can't automate online relationships. And that's where people miss the biggest opportunities. Cuz you could be off someone. That's really great. Like there was someone who had reached out to me and I'm like, if they hadn't sold me, like I looked at their profile. If they hadn't been that dirty car salesman in that second message, I might have had a conversation with them. But because they tried to pitch me right away, I was like, you're out, dude. You're so out. I'm deleting you. I'm blocking you. I don't even answer those anymore. Yep.

Bill Soroka (01:03:29):
There's something I feel almost bamboozled when that happens. Right. Especially if they were good at the initial connection and they show a little bit of who they are and I'm like, oh this is an authentic person. They're interested in me and building a relationship. And then when that second message comes through and it's like, I see you're coach or I've got this program or I've got, I wondered if you could do this for me. It all. It just feels

Mary Fain Brandt (01:04:01):
It's cause they hired the wrong LinkedIn consultant to train them. on how to do send 50 messages a day. It's a numbers game, send 50, you'll get five replies out of that five, you have book three calls. They were, they hired the wrong person or they come from the old sales mentality where you, you know, it's an numbers game call a hundred people. You'll book 20 calls. You'll sign up 10. That's not the way it works. And you're examining your reputation. Especially if you do it to me

Bill Soroka (01:04:31):
To wrap that, , that's a really good point. So to, to wrap this up full circle too, is there are people on this call right now that do exactly what we're we're talking about. I was one of them at some, at some point until I learned otherwise, this is about growing and becoming. So this isn't about shaming people. This is about learning and becoming. So what advice do you have to someone who's maybe not been in the loop on how to connect authentically or correctly on LinkedIn? What advice do you have to shift that and go forward?

Mary Fain Brandt (01:05:05):
So, you know, look at the person's profile, check out their content, send a simple short sweet message. The first message. When you're connecting, tell them what you liked about their content or read their profile. Maybe they volunteer somewhere. I've had people do that say, oh I see you volunteer at X, Y, Z. You know, I used to volunteer at a similar organization, keep it short, simple to the point, tell someone why you're connecting. I connected with an HR director just because his headline said HR recruiter, dad and possibly Batman. And he was in front of what looked like almost a bat mobile. And I said, dude, I just liked your picture. You had made it possibly Batman. Are you Batman posing as a recruiter? Like it was funny. Right. So you know, and it wasn't obscure funny. It, it was the right level of funny for LinkedIn.

Mary Fain Brandt (01:05:55):
Right. Cause if you wanna be funny, your message, know your audience, keep it clean. Yeah. Yeah. Clean, funny. But just be yourself. You're you're gonna connect with the right people when you are authentically positioning yourself. When you authentically in you're messaging, you're not trying to be this. If you're not a corporate square in the box, then why would your messaging sound like that? Oh, I see. We have mutual connections, Mary. I see you're doing great work in the field of coaching. You don't know that I'm doing great work yet. You have, you're looking at some words I put on LinkedIn, which shows you that I know what I'm talking about, but you don't know me.

Bill Soroka (01:06:37):
Right?

Mary Fain Brandt (01:06:38):
That's right. Not, not an authentic message. I still haven't connected with that person. It's sitting in my network. It's been there for two weeks. I don't know if I wanna reply to him. I haven't. You gotta

Bill Soroka (01:06:49):
Think about it for a little bit. Yeah. Well, and you brought up a really good point there too that you'll connect with the right people when you show up with personality and authentic self. And that's a really good distinguishment too, because I think there's a lot of people who are just afraid. Well, maybe their expectation is that they have to be everything to everyone. And this is business. So you've gotta, I'm

Mary Fain Brandt (01:07:12):
Not the right cup of tea for everyone. And I know that I can't serve everyone. I'm, I'm a solopreneur with a very, very small team, but I also know that my brand and my style isn't for everyone and that's okay. Cause then that wouldn't, we wouldn't be a good fit. Right? I, you know, I'm fun and formative, casual, conversational it's through the conversations that the magic happens with my clients. If you're not someone who wants to talk, you're probably not the right. If you just want someone and write your profile for you, I'm not the right coach.

Bill Soroka (01:07:43):
That's a really, really great point and a great demonstration of what it means to show up and be used. So I wanna respect your time. We're gonna go ahead and wrap up right here. Thank you so much, Mary. This has been amazing. I really appreciate your time guys. If you'd like to connect with Mary Fain Brandt, please visit the V I P room of sidehustlelounge.com/vip. She's got an awesome Facebook group for the LinkedIn bakery plus lots of other great resources too. And I'll have links to all of that inside the V I P room. Mary. Thank you so much. Woo. Thank you Bill. See you guys later.

New Speaker (01:08:17):
Thank you so much for listening to the side hustle lounge podcast. You know, if you follow me on Instagram and social media, you already know that my pets play a huge role in my life.

Bill Soroka (01:08:27):
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Bill

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